LIANA KUPFERMAN

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    After the baby is born, many mothers perceive themselves as victims of strong emotional instability, punctuated by a sadness that they cannot understand. Everything went well, the baby is perfect and, despite this, a feeling of dissatisfaction prevails. “Women are irritated, indisposed, have low self-esteem and are insecure about their ability to care for their baby” describes psychologist Liana Kupferman, from the psychology sector at Hospital e Maternity São Camilo, in São Paulo. To make matters worse continues the specialist, these feelings generate a sense of guilt, which intensifies sadness, thus creating a vicious circle.

This is the famous baby blues or, as experts say, postpartum dysphoria. “Statistics place between 80% and 90% the number of mothers who experience the puerperium emotionally shaken”, says psychologist Fatima Ferreira Bortoletti, professor at the Federal University of São Paulo and co-author of the book Psicologia na Pratica Obstétrica (Ed. Manole ). The most common cause of the baby blues is the sudden drop in hormone levels that, during pregnancy, remained very high. “This picture is transitory. It appears around the first week and tends to disappear spontaneously from 30 to 90 days”, says Fatima Bortoletti. It has nothing to do, therefore, with postpartum depression, which affects between 10% and 20% of women and can last up to two years.

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    While in baby blues the mother experiences intense introspection, which even contributes to her forming bonds with her child, in postpartum depression she shows a total lack of interest in day-to-day activities, may have psychosomatic illnesses, and have suicidal or suicidal thoughts. murderers in relation to the baby. These are cases that require intense monitoring and involve risks to the well-being and psyche of the mother and child.

In the baby blues, despite the depressive mood, just patience and a positive attitude in the face of the situations that bother her the most for the phase to be overcome and scratch, in short, to show a beautiful smile of satisfaction with her new condition as a mother. She knows some of these more frequent situations and be ready to dribble them.

 

Difficulties in breastfeeding.
“There is enormous pressure today for women to breastfeed their babies. It doesn't always take into account the delay for the milk to come in, the possibility of the breast being cracked, or the stress caused by this pressure”, says Liana Kupferman. These are natural difficulties, but they can deepen the feeling of helplessness of the woman who experiences the baby blues.

 

What to do?
Rest and relaxation are important for milk production. Invest in your well-being and do not hesitate to seek the advice of a pediatrician or a well-trained nurse to verify that your breastfeeding technique is correct. If nothing works, don't despair. If there is a problem that leads her to use the bottle, her affective relationship with the baby will not be harmed by it.

 

Are you hating your husband?
It doesn't mean you don't love anymore. But the arrival of a child is a drastic change and maybe the rapport between you is not in the best shape. A common resentment, for example, is the fact that the father quickly resumes his activities, while the mother spends the promised weeks dealing with diapers, feedings, and other requests from the baby. Often, there is a feeling of loneliness and emptiness so great that, even when the man seeks to support, the woman does not appreciate his efforts and ends up getting irritated by the smallest mistakes.

 

What to do
Recognize: your husband doesn't have a crystal ball to guess what's going on inside you or what you expect from him unless you speak clearly. According to Liana Kupferman, parenting is equally difficult for the parent, who tends to feel lost and helpless. How to solve it? “Make things easier by telling us how you feel and asking for what you need in the most objective way possible”, advises the psychologist.

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The mirror doesn't help
Lyrically speaking: you feel fat and clumsy. If, on the one hand, the extra pounds contribute to aggravating the discouragement and sadness typical of the baby blues, on the other hand, it is necessary to understand that, at this moment, they fulfill a biological function, providing energy for you to breastfeed and take care of the baby. Psychologically, the construction of maternal identity may require, at least for a period, putting other interests in the background, among them, vanity. After all, a strict diet now puts breastfeeding at risk.

 

What to do
It's true, old clothes no longer fit. But restricting your wardrobe to baggy pieces is often a bad disguise. The way forward, points out the psychologist Liana Kupferman, is to “immunize” oneself against socially imposed standards of beauty, avoiding comparisons. This is just a moment in your life.

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The work dilemma
Although you still have a lot of maternity leave ahead of you, you're likely to find yourself agonizing over what you're going to do when it's gone. All the issues that seemed like babies were well resolved before birth - such as the decision to leave the baby in the nursery or with the babysitter - can come back now and plunge her back into conflict and indecision. Don't even be surprised if the possibility of giving up your career to become a full-time mother suddenly seems like an interesting prospect. Conversely, at other professional moments, you may feel victimized by being too easy to switch while your universe goes on without you.

 

What to do
“These ambivalences, typical of the baby blues, tend to disappear before maternity leave ends”, recalls Fatima Bortoletti. So don't make definitive decisions now that you're fragile. Later on, you will be able to assess with a cool head what you really want. There is always the possibility of looking, for example, for a part-time job, which allows you to spend more time with your child; start a solo career or set up your own business; and ate from finding a job more tabbing.

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The article was translated by Google translator. See the original article in Portuguese, click here.