LIANA KUPFERMAN

It intrigued me to know how two people (or more) with the same genetic makeup end up becoming people with such different personalities. What led them to have a way of seeing the world, thinking, relating, and behaving in their own particular way? Do parents have any influence on this? Besides parents, who else? School, friends, family in general, society? Countless research has been done to unravel this mystery.

 

One study that stands out was carried out in Italy by Pinnott, who looked at the interaction between twins from intrauterine life. Pinnott realized that inside the uterus, each co-twin already had his particular way of relating: one was more spacious, occupying most of the mother's belly, the other more aggressive with his "elbows", while the other was more affectionate, tending to caress the baby. brother and so on. The most amazing thing is that these traits seemed to perpetuate throughout their lives.

 

Another recent study that helps us understand these differences is that the genetic makeup is constantly changing from human conception, still in the mother's womb. These transformations occur according to the contact with the environment. Therefore, each co-twin will already be related and will be different just because they are in different places. This does not mean that they will not have similarities. Yes, they will, and many.

 

I see that the biggest challenge for them is exactly being able to differentiate themselves from their brother, and this becomes a constant, almost daily struggle, and it manifests itself in different ways. I say it's a “fight” because the feeling of being different is ambiguous: at the same time that they crave this difference, it's easier, or more “safe”, to be equal, almost a form of loyalty to your brother. ask, “Should I dress my children differently?” or “do I put them in the same class?”, in short, “what should the education of twins be like?” First of all, I believe that there are no rules, as we always hear when we become a mother: “Children don't come with an instruction manual. ”.

 

Now, what we can do is reflect. Individuality is developed in a very natural way and the parents will gradually get to know it, it is a mutual discovery. Let's use the example of clothing. If even for reasons of practicality, you end up wearing them the same, which is totally understandable, it is possible to find a way to differentiate them, even if it is through a hair accessory, for example, or through the preference of the color of each one.

Being able to have flexibility, play from time to time, there is no problem, and parents can always help them to try to recognize what their preferences are. Friends can help by making an effort to call them by name. The school can help to respect the time of each one: one can learn to read and write before the other, for example. With common sense and a little sensitivity, everyone can collaborate, and the twins will certainly thank you!

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The article was published at the "Papo de Mãe" website (Mother's Chat) - Brazil, Oct 2011

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The article was translated by Google Translator. See the original article in Portuguese here.