HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT SCHOOL?
School choice is not easy. This decision requires good research! In the year of the decision we listen to all sorts of advice, visit schools, search for the most diverse information about the
future school, share the doubts with parents of students until reaching the final decision. And when the decision is made, what a relief for the family! The whole family starts to wear the school shirt.
A decision that requires the family investment, a bet. Making an analogy, it would be like playing the lottery. When a person plays a lottery game, they make a combination of numbers and believe that they will win, that is, they deposit their hope and believe that these are the right numbers, otherwise they would not even bet on the lottery! Just like the choice of school, when we decide, by a combination of factors, we believe it is the right one for our children.
But what really matters to the family? What weighs when deciding which school? Would it be the methodology of teaching, time load, religion, pedagogical lines (Traditional, Constructivist, Waldorf, Montessori) the friendships from the previous school, friendships of the parents, being bilingual or not, being Jewish or not, the cost of the school, the infrastructure, the location of the school?
For some working parents, the idea is that the child stays at school longer. A school with all the resources including meals and playful activities would facilitate the comings and goings by car. But there are other parents who prefer less time at school, more time at home. Let's face it, the perfect school does not exist. What exists today is the school that best meets your expectations. The school that most closely resembles your lifestyle.
The synchrony between school and family is a long marriage. A path that will be treading between three points: the parents, the child, and the school. A triangle of partnership needs to be in harmony, because new situations, unforeseen situations will always occur.
And the school together with the family will play an important role in the development of the child. Usually, everything that is new in people's lives generates strangeness, a time to adapt. Time depends on each person. Parents and children do not necessarily adapt at the same time. It may happen that the mother adapts herself, is sure of her choice, but her child is not yet, or vice versa. Schools usually indicate that within a month the children are adapted to new friends and new tasks. We believe that the most important thing during this long or short process is for parents to talk to their children and to be attentive to their behavior.
The school has great importance for family adaptation. Remember that school psychologists and teachers will do their best to help you understand your child's school progress. But the family also plays a very important role. Every child has their time and every parent has their own. We must respect the time of both.
The right school is one that will awaken the family pride as time goes by. That provides a good environment for your child with the closest values of your own. So if you deposited your chips at this institution, it's because you believed in that school. Go ahead, for it will surely be worth it.
You'll see this show in your children! If you come to the conclusion that it is not the ideal school for your child, do not hesitate or immerse yourself in self-criticism, for it is never too late for a new change.
Be alert to your child's signs of difficulty and talk to your child's school psychologist if:
1- You realize that your child is behaving differently from the usual: if it is angry, tearful, aggressive. During the first few weeks, this is common, but if it persists for more than two months, it's time to investigate further.
2- He/she cries when arriving at school and continues to cry during the day at school.
3- He/she complains about the school and has recurring nightmares about it.
4- He/she complains about his/her friends or is having trouble forming a group of friends.
Vanessa Kamkhaji Sapiro is Psychologist and Psychotherapist of Children and Specialist in Short
Psychotherapy by USG-HG.
Liana Kupferman is Clinical Psychologist Family, childish and Adult and Specialist Graduated in
Family and Couple by PUC-SP.
The article was published at the "EduJudaica" Magazine (Jewish Education) - Brazil, Jun 2011
The article was translated by Marko Petek. See the original article in Portuguese here.
