Children with Adult Behavior
Imitating parents is natural and can be a delight for little ones. But when the joke goes too far, you have to be careful.
By Thiago Perin
Every child likes to imitate adults. “Around two years old, little ones start to want to dress and act like their parents and older family members. It's perfectly normal”, says psychologist Rita Calegari, from Hospital São Camilo, in São Paulo. But there are cases where the imitation goes too far and the child begins to speak and act in adult manners.
A good example is the child presenter and actress Maisa, who was successful when she appeared on SBT with Sílvio Santos. In front of the cameras, Maisa, uninhibited, spoke as if she were grown up, but there were occasions when she gave in to pressure and, like a normal child, burst into tears and asked for her mother. Criticism abounded. Is it healthy to encourage this type of behavior in a child?
According to experts, encouraging children to act like adults is, in practice, shortening their childhood. “It creates in her a need to play a role that is not compatible with her age. Often, they behave this way to feel recognized and accepted by their parents,” says family psychologist Liana Kupferman, from São Paulo. In an attempt to maintain this position, the “adultified” child can become aggressive and, unable to deal with the frustration, start having problems at school and even difficulty relating to peers of the same age.
“In the future, if this issue is not addressed, it can lead to internal conflicts, difficulty adapting and even generate some regression of attitudes to rescue the important phase of childhood that was lost”, says child psychotherapist Vanessa Sapiro, from São Paulo. “Cases of depression and anxiety disorders have been growing absurdly in the young population”, adds Rita Calegari.
It's a fact: when the child looks at the adult, he wants to do the same things he does. But there is a natural process: as it grows, it adds elements to everyday life. “The child creates expectations for the cool things that come with age. If she skips this step, she loses her enchantment with the delicious things of the adult world. When he grows up, the only new thing is responsibility”, says Rita. It is normal for a young person to feel bored, depressed, and even sick.
The attitude of the parents, as always, is fundamental. Imitating the adult, the child will, but it depends on the parents to reinforce this behavior or not. “If the little one is already used to acting like grown-ups, parents should do a self-examination of conscience to identify how their attitudes are influencing their children”, says Vanessa. “Ideally, they don't try to cut their habits overnight, but gradually, at the same time they start to value other aspects of the child's personality, consistent with their age”, says Rita Calegari.
“Being flexible with the little one, showing that he himself has room for mistakes, doubts and difficulties is a good start for him to identify with the totality that is the human being”, says Vanessa Sapiro. “It is essential to respect the stage your child is in, with activities that he can follow”, she concludes.
The article was published at the "Revista Bebe", Abril ed (Baby Magazine) - Brazil, May 2015
The article was translated by Google Translator. See the original article in Portuguese here.